My 2nd 30 Days

Adriene, you are my hero. Adriene, you have saved me from the dread of felling that I could never change my body. Adriene, you have given me a new kind of confidence.

Being a hero is no small task, your ability to inspire so many women to roll out a mat each day and take time for themselves is inspiring. I am so inspired that I have shared with my family and friends all about the amazing youtube yoga guru I have found. Simply because I want them to have the chance to feel what I have felt each time I accomplished one of your 30 day challenge’s.

I could feel my spine becoming healthier as each day passed, my upper body was sore. In a good way. I could feel the strength being built. Going through my chaturanga flow at the beginning was me starting in plank position and flopping to the ground. And then all of a sudden one day I could lower with complete control touching chest before belly on the mat. And right as I thought I had mastered the pose you introduced something new. Doing it only on one leg. But I worked on it, now its a breeze. I had a lot of small victories throughout this challenge. With each, I gained a new layer of confidence in myself.

And with each mantra of the day, I gained not only confidence but touched something deeper inside of me. So, Adriene, you gave us 30 mantras, and now I am going to tell you and everyone else what they mean to me.

Day 1: I accept. I accept that things won’t always fall into place. It’s been hard for me post-college not feeling all the success of the weight of having a degree holds.

Day 2: I create. I create who I want to be. I have the ability to mold myself into who I want to be. I want to be a writer, I want to be successful. I can create time and space into my life to do better than yesterday.

Day 3: I embrace. I embrace that not every day will be a success. Most days recently have felt like failures, and once you get the idea in your head that things are going to fail, then you are dooming yourself. The picking up process becomes harder and harder each day. I am embracing that I will have the courage to continue, even what feels like the worst of days. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill.

Day 4: I awaken. I awaken the girl I used to be. The one that was nearly three and watched Jurassic Park with wonder over fear. I awaken Katy Perry’s Lion from deep inside to roar out of me. I awaken the girl who was never afraid to be herself. I am awakening.

Day 5: I am alive. Sometimes being alive means you cry into a pint of Bluebell, other times it means you dance with your best friends till the lights come on. I am alive, not staying in bed all day, I am alive. I am alive trying new things, there are a few coffee shops I want to visit.

Day 6: I am supported. I am supported by my parents, my siblings, my aunt, my grandparents, my best friend, my friends, my parent’s friends, my sibling’s friends, my grandparent’s friends. I have so many people around that are reaching down to support me back up. I just recently started reaching back for those supporting hands, pulling myself out of the blanket of sand I was under.

Day 7: I am capable. I am capable to write a kick-ass novel and some bad ass scripts. I am capable to find a job that peaks my interests. I am capable to get my body to where I want it to be. I am capable to grab my dreams and build new ones off of them.

Day 8: I choose. I choose what each day can be. I can choose whether it will be spent doing nothing, or if it will be spent taking each step towards my dreams. I choose happiness. I choose to move forward even if that means another failure on the way to success.

Day 9: I am bold. I am bold enough to write a book even if I think my family may not like every word that is written about the past. I am bold enough to take all the things I have been working on in high school, college, the stories from my dreams and write them down. I am becoming bold. 

Day 10: I am present. I will live in the present moment. I will stop spending hours laying in bed staring at my ceiling daydreaming about what it would be like if…

Day 11: I release. I release all the pain I felt from moving to Florida and feeling like my family didn’t have my back. I release all the pain I felt from my high school friends turning their backs on me our senior year. I release the pain from the boys who made me feel like other girls were worth their time and I wasn’t.

Day 12: I trust. I trust that my life has a plan. I trust, even though I cannot see, that God does have a plan for me to do something. I trust that one day I will look back with a better understanding and know how much this time in my life helped push me towards my dreams.

Day 13: I deserve. I deserve to take time for myself every day. I want to deserve the right to call myself a writer. I deserve to push my body to its breaking point and then keep going. I want to deserve the ability to change someone’s life with words on paper like many writers did for me. Stephen King’s The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, Martha Stewart’s Cupcake cookbooks, John Steinbeck’s East of Eden, Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax.

Day 14: Go with the flow. Going with the flow is something I struggle with. I like control, I like some structure, I like knowing what will come. I am learning to take a step back, view the world around me, live in the moment, and be open to the diversion of plans.

Day 15: I am open. I am open to new experiences, I want to do more humanitarian work. I am open to meeting people, I want to meet strangers from all walks of life. I am open to discovering who I am. I am open to feeling afraid, loved, alone, surrounded, small, big, careful, daring.

Day 16: I enjoy. I enjoy being surrounded by those I love. I enjoy the beach, the ocean. I enjoy seeing all different corners of the world. I enjoy trying new things like hockey, scuba, and yoga. I want to keep enjoying more.

Day 17: I am focused. I am focused on moving forward. Focused on each day holding something new that will change me in a way I didn’t expect. I am focused on writing my book. I am focused on not laying in bed all day dreaming about standing up. I am focused on loving and being me.

Day 18: I surrender. I surrender that I cannot control tomorrow. I find it hard to surrender that in five minutes from now my whole life could change. I am working on surrendering the unrealistic expectations I have placed on myself.

Day 19: I respect. I respect all those writers who came before me. I respect how nonfiction writers put their lives out in the open for everyone to read. I respect my own body, even on the days it is hard to look at it.

Day 20: I am worthy. I am worthy to wake up each day and live. I am worthy to see the beauty in the world around me. I am worthy to empower myself.

Day 21: I believe. I believe that everything has a purpose. I believe that things have a way of working themselves out. I believe that sometimes we aren’t meant to understand right away but just wait.

Day 22: I surround myself with. I surround myself with good intentions, family, friends, healthy food, work ethic, ambition. I surround myself with things that will help me reach my goals. I surround myself with things that will make me happy. I surround myself with people who have good souls.

Day 23: I am secure. I am secure even on the days I feel insecure. I am secure in the love my mom has for me. I am secure in the confidence my dad sees in me. I am secure in the passion my aunt gave me for movies. I am secure in the yoga mat I roll out.

Day 24: I am in control. I am in control of this moment. I am in control of pushing myself forward. I am in control of how I act. I am in control of how I proceed.

Day 25: I am strong. I am strong, both physically and mentally. I am working on telling myself I am strong. Strength is waking up each day and moving forward, no matter what the past has thrown at us. Strength is taking each thing life throws at us and learning from it. I am working on living strong.

Day 26: I attract. I attract positivity in my writing. I attract joyfulness in the people I surround myself with. I attract thankfulness for the wonderful things I have in my life.

Day 27: I am grateful. I am grateful that my parents have shown me the world. I am grateful that my parents helped pay for my schooling. I am grateful that I have a grandmother who takes me to the movies. I am grateful that I have aunts who spend quality time with me. I am grateful that I have gained new uncles and that I have started to get to know one of them.

Day 28: I celebrate. I celebrate that life is messy. I celebrate that things sometimes spin out of control. I celebrate that sometimes trying is the best I can do. I celebrate small victories. I celebrate all the wonderful people in my life.

Day 29: I love. I love dancing. I love cookies and creme. I love Sperrys. I love sun bum chapstick. I love scuba diving. I love hockey. I love the color green. I love yoga.

Day 30: It’s all you. Today it is all me. Today is as good as any to stand up and do the thing you have been telling yourself you’ll do tomorrow.

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