Happy Friday the 13th! I love horror and thriller movies-always have from a young age and I hope you do too! If you don’t go ahead and look at some pretty poetry I have written.
For the next 13 months on the 13th day of each month I will be posting about the worst ways to die in movies.
The first: getting torn apart by a zombie.
You can die a lot of ways in a zombie movie depending on the universe you have found yourself in. Infection can come from a bite (most common) to a scratch to breathing it in and death no matter the circumstances.
My advice if you ever find yourself in a zombie filled universe make sure you destroy the brain. The common link between all of the universe is that the brain keeps the creature alive.
Or you can pull a Michonne from The Walking Dead (2010-) and cut off the hands and pull out the teeth. But seriously whose got the time! (for those snobs out there I do know the real reason why she does it but this isn’t a post about surviving zombies but dying by them).
Pro tip: Always double tap (taken from Zombieland (2009)). Our protagonist Columbus made it rule number two so do it. Don’t think to yourself I got the thing. It will get you. I promise. I have seen the movies. I know how it goes.
How not be an asshole tip: Don’t be that person who gets bitten and hides it. I am no longer rooting for anyone to save you (find a cure, cut the limb off, go out your way) but for you to die horribly. You suck.
Lets get back to this being my number one reason to die in a movie-getting torn apart by zombies. Not all of us get a beautiful death some of us get the messy undeserved death.
If you are the unlucky person who gets lost in a sea of swarming zombies as we hear you scream out in agony as your flesh is ripped off your body by brainless shells I feel for you. I hurt for you. I know you deserved better.
So there you have it. My number one way I would not want to die in a movie. Being ripped apart helplessly by zombies. Put a bullet in my brain please.
See you next month for movie two. Hint-it launched one of my, all of ours, favorite actors careers!