Week one. Imagine yourself in a desert at dusk. The ground still holds the heat from the day and the air is heavy. You can smell a campfire and sage near you and see the light of the fire. The temperature will surely drop and you will be grateful for that that later. The sky comes alive with stars, so many you cannot even begin to imagine counting them. How do you feel?
Each of our meditation journeys will be different. So don’t worry if your desert takes on something different or is set in a different time (period, day).
On day one of my meditation it was a little hard to get my mind to quiet down at first. I kept finding myself drifting off and having to pull my focus back to the desert. But I found that once I did I was able to feel how the desert was warm, happy, loved, and alive.
It’s easy to imagine ourselves stuck in a vast desert alone, stuck in a dead place that isn’t usually associated with leisure or life. But imagining that a campfire was near me told me that I wasn’t alone out here.
One my second day of meditation I found that the desert was rocking me (and I might have been rocking in real life). I felt that it was telling me everything was going to be okay. I have people in my corner. And I saw them sitting at my campfire. Along with my wolf who came and sat with me outside the fire (I will get more into him later).
On day three of my meditation I felt that the desert was a place that can feel extremely lonely and scary when night falls. As we turn our backs away from the fire we can feel very lost. That can get overwhelming but its important to remember we have people at our campfire that would bend over backwards for us and fight for us. Just as long as you turn around to that campfire and embrace the warmth.
Recently I was diagnosed with PTSD (I won’t go into the details as of now) and that experience left me feeling alone. It left me feeling like I didn’t have anyone who would care enough to fight for me. It took me a really long time to talk about it. I wanted to pretend it wasn’t a thing that happened and I shut my self off from people.
I had a very hard time connecting with others because I was so afraid to turn around and find that my campfire really was empty. Our traumatic experiences are a burden that feels overwhelming. I’m not telling you to open up to every single person you meet but maybe try letting one person in.
It’s scary as hell. But find yourself someone you can trust. Trust your gut and do it when you are ready. PTSD can come from many different places (and I am in no way saying that you have it) but we all have had hard experiences and they are easier to carry when we have people.
Take it from me or don’t. It took me almost seven years to really let someone back in and I still freak out wondering if it was the right decision. I can tell you, it totally was.
How do you want this day to be? Take a moment to connect to yourself.