Y’all It’s Not That Hard To Order Chinese

The other day I was asked if I was single or if I was dating someone. I said I wasn’t seeing anyone at the moment. To which they promptly asked how my skills in the kitchen are, because you know the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

And my jaw about hit the damn floor. Let’s keep my actual skills in the kitchen out of this conversation and talk about this stereotype that all women will win a guy over with her cooking skills.

Maybe in the 50s that was a legitament concern of the man of the house, seeing as how eating out wasn’t common and microwaves being scarce in homes.

But today we can get good food at our fingertips. And it’s not even as hard as it was five years ago. Uber eats will deliver all kinds of stuff to your door.

So what the hell does my or any other woman’s cooking skill have to do with getting a man? Is there some secret meeting once a week where all the single men go and try out all the single womens best casserole and wife them on the spot? Cause if there is count me as single.

Honestly I know a lot of men that can cook, and cook good. My dad is an excellent chef, he takes a basic dish and makes it extraordinary! Don’t tell my mom I said this but sometimes I think he’s a better cook then her (it has to do with that eggplant dish mom, you know the one I’m talking about).

Now hold up here, don’t get your boxer briefs in a twist just yet. Sometimes the opposite gender can do something better than the one that is “supposed to do it best”.

I have seen some drag queens who could walk the length of a bar in high heals better than I could walk two feet in them.

I’m not trying to put down women who like to cook either, for some women cooking is a great way to show they appreciate their man, or hell they just like to cook and share it with those they love and care about.

But for some of us, cooking doesn’t come naturally, we have other skill sets. Skill sets that extend outside the household.

For some women we want a career and life outside of staying at home. And for others we want to stay at home and take care of our families. I’ve got one aunt who’s a bad ass professor and another who’s a stay at home that makes her kids world a living adventure, and another who has worked so hard to become a home owner of an adorable place without the help of a second income.

Kick ass women come in all shapes, cooking abilitys, and life styles and we should celebrate the heck out of them.

And stop telling young women the best way to get a man is through his stomach, y’all its not that hard to order Chinese.

F

Food poisoning is like your body literally rejecting everything on the inside of your stomach through every possible method. Add on the fact that you feel like you have the flu, your head feels one million times heavier than it ever should, and you can’t stomach to keep a breath of air down without wanting to vomit back up the air. Didn’t I once say I was a dramatic child? Well, I can be a dramatic adult too.

If you have ever been so lucky to come down with food poisoning then you will know that I am only exaggerating a little.

I had spent the night before playing a Mario Kart racing game at a friends apartment before heading home to my dorm room. It was my freshman year and I was living it up. I had a mini fridge (source one of where it could all have gone wrong), I ate the food at the campus cafeterias (source two), and I had eaten banana pudding at the friend’s place (source three).

If you know anything about my dad then you know that he hates bananas, before this moment I only hated them in solidarity with my dad. Now I hate them because I spent hours throwing them back up.

I don’t really like Italian food, shocker I know, what is wrong with me! I am super picky about where I eat Italian food at. It has something to do with the tomato sauce if it’s not just right then I just ugh. Really unless I am sucking out the inside of cherry tomatoes or eating salsa then tomatoes are not my thing. But I used to be okay with chicken alfredo, well not anymore. I spent hours throwing alfredo sauce back up. Just picture in your mind that white creamy sauce mixed with stomach acid in a toilet bowl, barf.

The school cafeteria food always gave me funny poops so I wasn’t really suspicious about it.

Having food poisoning sucked. I felt miserable sitting in my dorm room bathroom reliving the meals of the day before.

Anyone have a good food poisoning story?

C

Cow Tipping Creamery is this adorable gourmet food truck in Carrolton, they also have a Frisco and Austin location. It was this time last year that I got a question from my aunt, did I want to go for a walk with her to get ice cream. I mean I love ice cream and I like walks so putting the two together sounded great. Until she told me the catch, it would be 2.9 miles down and 2.9 miles back. I was given a choice do I walk for ice cream or stay at home?

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As you can tell I wasn’t too happy about it. But none the less I was up for the challenge, 3 miles isn’t really that far…let me stop my self right here. 3 miles really is that far. If anyone ever tells you walking 3 miles for ice cream is a piece of cake they are wrong.

While you are on the 3 mile trek all your mouth can think about is how that cold delicious ice cream taste is not present, your limbs will feel weak and you will try to remember the last time you tasted ice cream, eventually your brain will start to forget and it will cause your legs to start to panic, your body will randomly think about bolting forward into a dead sprint just to crawl up to that food truck and say with the little strength you have left, ice cream?

At least mentally that’s how it felt. But it all turned out okay and we ended up very happy! Birthday cake ice cream and all!

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In the end what I learned was that sometimes you have to put in a lot of work to get a little sweet treat. Because at the end of the day smiling with the ones you love is worth walking 6 miles.

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Sin Azúcar?

As an international traveler, I have noticed that we Americans are really obsessed with sugar. We put it in everything, even things that are already naturally sweet.

I was just another sugar blinded American until a few years ago when my mom read and shared an article about sugar with me. I came to find out that women should only be consuming about 24 grams of sugar per day.

So lets say you woke up had a yogurt, for lunch ate a peanut butter sandwich and had a soda, had a cookie before working, chugged down a Powerade post workout. What would that look like? 86 grams of sugar at least! That is 3.5 times what a woman should be eating and you haven’t even had dinner yet.

  1. 12 oz can of Coca-Cola has 39 grams of sugar,
  2. 1 Chips Ahoy cookie has 4 grams of sugar
  3. 2 tablespoons of Jif peanut butter has 3 grams of sugar
  4. 6 oz Yoplait Original has 26 grams of sugar
  5. 8 oz of Powerade Mountain Blast has 14 grams of sugar

Those 24 grams add up so freaking fast. I don’t know why it still shocks me when I travel how little sugar most other countries have in their drinks. While in Costa Rica we discovered this delicious sweet brand, Dos Pinos, and we bought 3 of them

Now I have a little bit of math coming up so if you don’t follow numbers well skip the next two paragraphs.

I was a little afraid to flip the box over and read the sugar content on the back. But to my disbelief, each box slapped me in the face with a low sugar content. Two of the kinds we tried was 1. Té Blanco per 500 ml 24 grams of sugar, 2. Té Rojo per 500 ml 13 grams of sugar. For those of you need it, 30 ml is about 1oz.

How does a 12 oz glass compare to a 12 oz can of coke? In Té Blanco in about 12 oz it has 17 grams of sugar and Té Rojo in about 12 oz it has 9 grams of sugar.

To sum it up a regular can of coke compares to a local Costa Rican drink as 2-4 times as much sugar.

Why are we Americans so sugar obsessed? We sugar load everything we eat. And why wouldn’t we, sugar makes us feel fantastic! Sadly it’s a short-term gain for a long-term health loss. Our microwave generation has come to expect quick gratification and the natural beauty of foods has been lost.

We should take a page from other countries books and learn to enjoy the natural flavors a little bit more. And save our sugar intake for the things that matter like wine!

Massages In The Morning

Good morning from Costa Rica, where it is actually closer to noon, but I feel so relaxed that I don’t care what time of day it is. Let me set the stage for you: A beautiful tropical house that sits up in the mountains looking down into a cove that stretches out into the ocean, two very talented masseurs are waiting for you to lay down and with their hands relax you into a trance that can only be accompanied by the sounds of birds and a light breeze that cools the warm morning air. And it is perfection.

While I wish this could be my everyday morning ritual, I know that sadly in a few days I will have to go back to reality. I will have to leave warm inviting Central America and travel back to chilly North America.

Costa Rica, so far, has been a warm welcoming adventure. Filled with relaxation and friendly locals. Besides renting a house and getting massages on the back porch in the morning, I have a few a more tips for you from my trip.

  1. You must get the ceviche. It is beyond amazing. You can taste the lime against the fish, paired with the onions, fresh tomatoes, and the cilantro, it will have you wanting to soak up every last drop with the amazing crackers accompanying the dish.
  2. Seafood, mariscos en Español, is a must. Carne (beef) and Pollo (chicken) are also good choices. But when you are this close to the ocean eat the actual fresh fish! They serve it so seared, grilled, in garlic sauce (I recommend), blackened, in rice…
  3. You can get by with a little Spanish. We really were gearing up to be able to fumble our way through conversations, but so far everywhere we have gone someone or everyone speaks enough English to get by.
  4. If you have never travelled outside of the country then Costa Rica is a good choice to look into. You can find a lot of common American food brands in the grocery store. Like Dr. Pepper, and Y’all that is a rare thing. When I lived in Southeast Asia as a kid you could sometimes on a rare day find a can of that sweet Dr. Pepper for about 10 USD! So if they have Dr. Pepper then I bet you can imagine all the other stuff they have (Cheetos, Coke, Jones Soda, Prego, M&M, Oreos…).
  5. Pineapple which I, of course, didn’t eat but by the other six people in my group it was apparently delicious. The Pina Coladas everywhere we went, also by definition of my group, where tropically delicious and easy to drink (which can be dangerous!).
  6. If flying into Liberia, before you clear customs stop in the liquor store and pick up a few cheap bottles. The prices in Colón are not easy to translate on the spot and it may look like a good deal in the store but back in the states its way cheaper.

And as of right now I am way too relaxed to keep typing so look for more to come in a later post! Adiós mis amigos!

Food Signs From the Universe

Do you ever feel the universe is trying to send you a sign? You see the same thing over and over again. It haunts you everywhere you look. In tv shows, billboards, work, ads, other people.

The universe has been shoving donuts in my face for the past few weeks. All I have been able to think about is biting into that sweet glazed light dough, feeling the rush of sugar fill my veins. Wide eyes floating to the ones covered with sprinkles. Each sprinkle a small joy of sugar, glazed in pink, blue, and green. Cake doughnuts feeling moist and heavy. Popping doughnut holes into my mouth.

I have been searching for a doughnut. But not just any doughnut will work. I am looking for one that won’t disappoint me. At this point I think I have worked up into such a big deal in my mind that I don’t know if I will ever be able to eat one again.

Should I go to a small doughnut shop? Should I go to a chain like Krispy Kream? Made fresh? Unique store? Pre-boxed?

Today at the grocery store the store made boxed doughnuts had a sale sign on them. Buy one box get one free. I looked down into that box and those sweet little round fried beauties stared back up at me. But I couldn’t do it.

What if I can never find a doughnut that will live up to the expectations I now have in my mind? What if this is a sign from the universe that I should never eat another doughnut?

Or should I go on a road trip to try doughnuts, searching until I find the perfect one. Searching until the universe gives me a new food sign!

Oh how I wish I could just eat a doughnut right now.